Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
