kristin has been a bad kristin
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
