She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
