I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
