You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
