I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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