you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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