I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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