I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
