nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
