We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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