It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
