They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
