where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
