I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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