It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I met the friendliest cop last night
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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