I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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