dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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