My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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