a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize