would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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