So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
