I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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