theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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