It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
