and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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