So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
