i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
