I think I am morally bankrupt
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
