oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
