I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
