I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
