dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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