I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
