no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
