Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
