vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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