I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
