She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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