then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
