i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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