New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
