Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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