Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
