I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Drunk is not a location!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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