do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
