Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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