Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
