"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
