i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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