Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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