it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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