Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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