Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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