How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
