That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
