The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
